


boyfriend material (that's what you're made of)

by carissima



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carissima/pseuds/carissima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What a nice lad," Pete says, making Nick jump in surprise. He turns to find his parents standing side by side, staring at him with identical smiles on their faces. Nick's gaze narrows as his eyes dart between his parents.</p><p>"Yeah, I mean, I guess he's alright," Nick says warily.</p><p>"So is he your special someone then?" his mum bursts out, and oh god, she's actually giddy.</p><p> <i>or the one where Nick accidentally tells his parents that he's dating Louis Tomlinson from One Direction.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	boyfriend material (that's what you're made of)

**Author's Note:**

> so on Thursday's call or delete, nick called his friend phil, who took him to the Brits this year and met his parents. the prank was that that nick told them that phil was his boyfriend and would phil play along. 
> 
> so obviously i wrote a tomlinshaw fic based on that because nick practically wrote the fanfic himself on air.
> 
> a huge thank you to jess for helping me with some grimshaw family details, hazy though they might be! if there are any blatant mistakes, they're mine alone, please forgive me.

Most of Nick's vast and varied wardrobe is scattered across his room while he digs through piles of clothes, getting more and more worked up as he tries to find a scarf or _something_ that will finish off his outfit.

"Nick, honey?"

He glances up to find his mum peering around the door. "Yeah Mum? You and Dad are alright, yeah?"

"Of course we are," his mum says and apparently she takes it as an invitation to walk into his bedroom. He just about stifles a groan when she starts picking things up and folding them almost idly because he's still _looking_. "Jane called the other day. She's so settled now, her and the kids. You know, it really warms your dad's heart. Being a grandpa."

"Yeah Mum, I know," Nick mumbles and he very deliberately sticks his head back into the wardrobe in a vain attempt to escape the horrible conversation his mum is forcing on him. It's not even the first time today that she's brought up how _settled_ and _happy_ his siblings are and how nice it would be if Nick would just settle down and be happy too.

Like it's _his_ fault that no one has yet decided to snap up one of London's most eligible bachelors. He's ready to be snapped up. Ready, willing and practically stinking of quiet, or not so quiet, desperation to be all loved up and disgustingly coupled together with a cute lad who recognises how brilliant he truly is.

Nick rips a scarf from its hanger and wraps the thin material irritably around his neck.

"And her place is so lovely. A real home, you know?"

Nick drags the scarf off again and glares in the mirror at his own reflection. He's got two minutes before the car's due to arrive and he's not going to the bloody Brits without something to finish his outfit off. He's got an actual official Fashion Title now that he's an ambassador and all, and he's not going to turn up to the biggest night in British music without a bloody scarf that will bring out the exact colour of his eyes and make his cheekbones look sharp and model-like, and no one can bloody make him.

"Where the bloody hell is Harry with that scarf?" he mutters as his mum plucks the scarf out of his hands and starts folding it.

"Language, Nicholas," his mother admonishes with a slight frown that still manages to make Nick feel like a teenager again. It's impressive. "Can't you just wear another scarf? You have lots of them right here."

Nick slowly counts to ten and then makes it all the way to fifty eight before he takes a deep breath and looks at his mum. "I need Harry's scarf, Mum. I'm sure it'll be here in time though."

"Of course it will," his mum says, reaching over to pat his arm comfortingly. And it somehow works, is the thing. Nick takes another deep breath before he herds his mum gently out of the room and back towards where his dad is watching the telly.

"Alright Dad?" Nick disappears into the kitchen to grab another beer for him because he truly is a great son, even if he is desperately single and unloved and a huge disappointment to both his parents and himself.

"You heard from your brother recently?" Pete asks as he takes the beer with a nod of thanks.

"Not in the past week," Nick says with a frustrated sigh. His mum is peering into his kitchen cupboards and making strange noises under her breath, but he's not going to rise to the bait. He's _not_.

"He's just so _settled_ now," Pete says thoughtfully.

Nick clenches his hands into fists and tries to think calm, peaceful thoughts. Like how his parents are only visiting until tomorrow and he should appreciate their visits more. And maybe he should book a longer holiday to Ibiza this year for his birthday. Maybe an entire month, if work will let him. There are absolutely no parents or siblings or nieces or nephews in Ibiza.

Nick fucking loves Ibiza.

"Really happy, you know?" Pete continues.

"Great, that's just _great_ ," Nick says a falsely bright smile.

"So Nick, what about you?" his mum asks as she walks in and stands next to his dad. They both stare at him expectantly and Nick just blinks at them. "Anyone special in your life? Anyone you want to settle down with? You know you can tell us, love. We just want to see that you're happy. And settled."

"With a nice boy," his dad adds, and Nick wants to both laugh and cry because his parents are both the best and worst people ever.

"Who deserves you," his mum continues and Nick's starting to feel weighted down by the double-team of parental pressure that he hasn't really had to experience in about ten years since he moved out of home.

"Mum, will you please stop going on about my boyfriend?" Nick pleads, but even then he's half-laughing because his parents are utterly ridiculous and amazing.

He's rescued by the bloody doorbell and he almost runs for it in his desperation to escape the conversation that never seems to fucking end.

"So there is a boyfriend then?" his mum calls out and Nick groans, resting his head against the door before he throws it open.

"Please tell me you have the scarf," Nick says before he freezes, because it's not one of One Direction's staff standing in front of him. It's not even Harry.

It's Louis bloody Tomlinson, with the scarf he's been looking for dangling precariously from his finger.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here, then?" Nick asks in muted frustration. His life, honestly.

"Harry was busy," Louis says with a shrug. Then he grins like he knows how harassed Nick is and he's pleased to be contributing to it. And yes, Nick might be projecting a bit but it's Louis, and he's a fucking pain in the arse at the best of times and Nick running late for the biggest event in British music while his parents pester him about how fucking awful and lonely his life is. Nick is not having the best night ever. And he certainly doesn't need Louis making it worse.

"You are ridiculous," Nick says as he snatches the scarf from Louis' hand. "You're a fucking popstar. A big fucking deal, even. Do you even realise you have people who do this kind of stuff for you? People who are paid to literally do whatever you want them to do?"

"Yeah, which is why I got driven over here rather than trying to hit London at rush hour myself," Louis says, that same grin playing on his lips. He slides his hands into his pockets, looking relaxed and perfect and somehow that just annoys Nick more.

"Oh my god." Nick wraps the scarf around his neck and leans back to try and catch his reflection in the hall mirror. It's a bit of a contortion but just like he thought, it goes perfectly with his suit. A tiny weight lifts from his shoulders and he glances back at Louis, who's just watching him with sharp eyes that make Nick feel a bit self-conscious. "Well, thanks for bringing it over. I feel really special having a member of One Direction making a personal delivery to my house."

"Nick?"

"Oh bloody hell," Nick mutters, closing his eyes before he turns around. "Hey Dad."

"Who's this then?" Pete asks, stepping forward and forcing Nick to move aside so he can offer his hand to Louis, who shakes it with a surprising amount of vigour.

Louis glances up at him but Nick mutinously refuses to introduce them.

"I'm Louis." He cocks an eyebrow at Nick before he turns back to Nick's dad with a bright, charming smile that just makes Nick sulk more because Louis' never bothered aiming that smile at him. He just gets sharp grins and bloody riddles. "You must be Nick's dad."

"Yes I am," Pete says with a smile full of warmth and affability that he greets everyone with. "So you've rescued my son from his fashion disaster then."

"Couldn't let him go out without his scarf, could I?" Louis says cheerfully and for some reason that escapes Nick entirely, his dad laughs. No, his dad bloody _guffaws_ at Louis. Nick just stares at him in bemusement.

"Well thank you for coming over, Louis," Pete says. His eyes are dancing. Nick blinks, but no, his dad's eyes are sparkling and bright and oh god, he's being charmed by another bloody obnoxious popstar. "Reckon Nick owes you one."

"Oh, he definitely does," Louis says with a wealth of hidden meaning behind his tone and Nick manages a stiff smile.

"Yes, thank you Louis," Nick says and he moves carefully until he's got himself positioned between Louis and his dad because he absolutely does not need his dad to be as charmed by Louis as he is by Harry. That's all he needs. He might as well invite the rest of One Direction over to completely spoil his parents. "And yeah, I totally owe you one. Now, isn't there somewhere you have to be? Like a red carpet maybe?"

"Yeah, probably," Louis says, looking unconcerned. And Nick finally notices that Louis' already dressed up in a smart black blazer, a t-shirt that he swears is Burberry's fall line and tailored black slacks that roll up at his ankles. Lou's obviously already done his hair, since it's tousled in that just-out-of-bed style that Nick happens to love. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Mr. Grimshaw."

"Oh, please call me Pete," his dad calls out over Nick's shoulder.

"Well," Nick says loudly, reaching back for the door and hoping his arm is blocking the view between his dad and Pete's new best mate. "Thanks Louis. I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Sure," Louis says with another annoying grin before he's bounding away and disappearing into the waiting car with the tinted windows. Nick waits for the car pull away before he steps back and closes the door.

"What a nice lad," Pete says, making Nick jump in surprise. He turns to find his parents standing side by side, staring at him with identical smiles on their faces. Nick's gaze narrows as his eyes dart between his parents.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess he's alright," Nick says warily.

"So is he your special someone then?" his mum bursts out, and oh god, she's actually giddy. She's beaming and her eyes are bright and sparkling, just like his dad.

"You don't have to keep it a secret from us, son," Pete adds in his slow drawl. But he reaches out to lace his fingers with Eileen's and Nick doesn't miss the movement.

"He's great," Eileen says dreamily, and Nick stares at her in disbelief. "We can see why you fell for him. He's just your type."

Nick's suddenly having trouble breathing and there's a funny pressure pushing down on his chest. "My type?" he croaks out.

"He's very cute," Eileen says conspiratorially.

"Well yeah, he's in bloody One Direction," Nick says in a desperate attempt to grasp some reality because he feels like he's stepped into another bloody dimension. "They're all cute. It's in their contract."

"Yes, but he's just lovely." Hs mum sighs. She actually _sighs_. "Very funny. And he obviously adores you. Yes, he's just the kind of boy we'd pick for you ourselves, isn't he Pete?"

"Not that we'd pick your boyfriends for you," Pete reassures him, like Nick needed assurance that his parents weren't about to sign him up to a dating website and micromanage his profile for him. "A very nice boy. You could have told us earlier though, son. We like to see you happy."

"So happy," Eileen says, and her voice catches.

Nick's heart sinks and he's stepping forward before he knows what he's doing. "Mum," he murmurs, reaching for her hands. She squeezes his fingers hard enough to hurt and her eyes are wet with unshed tears that make him feel even worse about his failure of a love life. "Yeah. He's great, right? Louis. He's uh, beautiful. Funny. A bit of a dick sometimes, but he's um, very sweet, actually. When it's just the two of us."

"Oh, love," Eileen says and she launches into him for a hug that steals the breath out of him.

Nick's going to hell. There's definitely a place in hell for people that lie to their parents, and he's totally going there.

"You're going to tell us all about him later, okay?" his mum whispers in his ear and Nick nods, feeling awful. "Now get going, that sounds like your car pulling up."

"Yeah," Nick says, feeling completely out of sorts and like nothing in his life is making sense. He's just told his parents that he's dating Louis Tomlinson from One bloody Direction and his mum is sniffling into his dad's shoulder. "Yeah, I'll tell you all about him. But you'll be alright, yeah? The car's going to pick you up and bring you to the after party. I'll meet you there, okay?"

"Will Louis be there, love?" Eileen asks with a watery smile.

"Um, no, actually, he's got to go to a different after party," Nick says with a hint of relief. "He's got to go to his label's party."

"Oh," Eileen says, sounding horribly disappointed. "Oh well, we'll see him next time we visit."

By which time Nick will have 'broken up' with Louis and be heartbroken before rising from the ashes of heartbreak to love again. Since his parents only visit twice a year.

"I've got to go," Nick says, reaching for the door. He double checks he's got everything before he's waving awkwardly to his parents and then he's in the car, breathing heavily as he wonders what the fuck just happened.

*

Nick heads straight for the bar when he arrives, after doing the usual round up of red carpet interviews. He's not presenting tonight and he's not scripted to do any live interviews and after the night he's already had, he deserves a few bottles of the Brits finest wine.

By the time he sees One Direction, the night is half over and he's draped over Fiona, giggling even though he can't remember why he's laughing.

He might be a little trashed.

"Grimmy!" Harry yells from halfway across the O2 because he's ridiculous and Nick loves him a lot. He waves back and decides he should really go and say hi because that's the polite thing to do. He weaves in and out of the tables, saying hi to everyone he recognises before he finally drops into a seat next to Harry. Looking around, he realises he must be in Liam's seat because he's the only one missing, and by some good fortune, he's sitting right next to his fake boyfriend. Who has no idea how happy he's made Nick's ridiculous parents.

Nick giggles into his wine glass.

"'ello One Direction," Nick says cheerfully. "You all look great, as usual. I like the hair, Niall."

"Cheers mate," Niall says with a grin. Matt's going to be _so_ jealous.

"Having a good night then?" Nick pats Harry's knee companionably.

"Not as good as yours, by the looks of it," Harry says teasingly. "Hitting the bottle there Grimmy?"

"It's a free bloody bar, Harold," Nick says, unrepentant. Then he turns to stare at Louis, who just raises his eyebrow. "What about you, Louis? Enjoying yourself?"

"It's alright."

Nick peers at him, searching for something. A reason, he thinks. He's looking for a reason why his parents would think that Louis is his type. He's cute, sure. And yes, Nick's shallow enough to have dated people purely based on their looks before. But Louis is a lot shorter than his previous boyfriends, and he's never dated any popstars before. And his boyfriends have generally been as shallow and vain as he is, but he knows Louis well enough that vanity isn't one of Louis' many annoying faults.

"Uh, Nick? You alright there?" Louis asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Nick says automatically, straightening up from where he'd been unconsciously leaning into Louis' space. "Uh, I should get back to my table before the cameras start roaming again."

"Hey, don't drink too much, Grimmy, you've got the show tomorrow," Harry reminds him. There's a smile on his face, a memory of years before and it's enough to make Nick grimace at the thought of how much shit he'd gotten in for turning up for his show still drunk after the Brits.

"Yeah yeah, thanks Harold," Nick says, reluctantly fond. He pats Harry's hair, shaking his head at how long and amazing it is before he gets to his feet unsteadily. He shoots Louis another curious glance before he turns and heads back to his table.

His parents are definitely wrong, he thinks as he narrowly avoids a collision with a Mumford or Son. Louis' absolutely not his type.

*

The after party is a complete bust. Nick's almost sobered up, wary of his work responsibilities and he's all but abandoned his parents because they won't stop talking about Louis and Nick hasn't got any answers for them.

Except that meant his parents had started talking to Matt about how long Nick had been with his boyfriend and Matt had glanced up at him, confused and shaking his head. Nick had been forced to step in and drag his parents away to explain that he and Louis weren't exactly out and open about their relationship because of Louis' band and he feels like he's suffocating under this stupid, stupid lie.

He can't even flirt with anyone because his parents are beaming with happiness, all because of his miserable, awful lie.

Nick lasts another twenty minutes before he reluctantly draws his parents out of the party to head back home.

At the very least, his bosses will be happy with his early night.

*

Nick's halfway through dinner when his phone flashes up with his mum's number. He's tempted to ignore it, to just keep eating his organic stir fry and pretend he hasn't seen it. Except he's already reaching for the phone.

"Hi Mum," he says brightly. He shovels in another mouthful of beansprouts.

"Hi love, how's things?"

Nick quickly launches into a longwinded, detailed analysis of his day so far, complete with anecdotes and random stories in a desperate attempt to avoid the inevitable.

"And how's that young man of yours?" his mum asks when he stops for a breath.

Nick groans and drops his head into his hand. "Yeah, he's fine, Mum. Busy rehearsing, as usual."

"But you're still managing to see him?"

"Yeah, we get the odd hour here and there," Nick lies beautifully. It's been two weeks of lies and false promises that he hates himself for, but when he hears the happy lilt in his mum's voice, it's hard for him to stop the pretence. "He's coming over later, in fact."

"Well, that's good love, and it won't be like this forever, of course. Just enjoy the time you do spend together."

"We do, Mum."

"Well, that's good because your dad and I thought we'd pop down to see this man of yours and meet him properly, so you'll just have to make sure he clears his schedule this weekend," his mum announces and Nick almost chokes on his noodles.

"What?" he manages to say, reaching for his glass of water and swallowing quickly.

"We want to meet him properly, as your boyfriend," his mum says, blissfully unaware of how her son is currently _dying_. "So give him a call and make sure he's free, okay? Your dad and I, we're just so happy for you that you're finally settling down with a nice lad. And I know it's got to be hard with his schedule and everything, but the fact that you're trying so hard and you're willing to work at this means that it's got to be worth it, and of course we want to meet this young man who's finally managed to make you settle down."

Nick can barely breathe. "Yeah," he croaks out unevenly. "Okay. I'll see if he's free."

"Wonderful," his mum says happily. "Well, I'll let you go then. Say hi to Louis from us, okay?"

"Yeah Mum, will do," Nick murmurs. He drops the phone down to the table and stares at his half-finished dinner before he pushes it away. He's in such a fucking mess and all because he's making his parents happy with his pretend relationship.

He's fumbling for his phone as his mum's voice echoes in his ears.

"Harry? Harry, I need Louis' phone number, can you text it to me?"

"Grimmy?" Harry's voice sounds far away and a bit tinny. "You want Lou's phone number?"

"Louis," he repeats. "Louis Tomlinson. Your bandmate. I need a favour."

"Yeah, okay," Harry says, his confusion evident. "Everything alright mate?"

"Just fine, Harry," Nick assures him, running his hand through his hair. "I just need to ask Louis something."

"Alright," Harry says slowly. "Well, let me know if I can help, okay?"

"Yeah, of course I will," Nick says and then he rings off and waits for his phone to vibrate.

When he gets Harry's text, he programmes Louis' number into his phone and takes a deep breath before he presses the call button.

"Hello?" Louis' voice sounds wary as he answers.

"Hi Louis Tomlinson," Nick says as brightly as he can. He swallows quickly. "It's Nick. I uh, I need a favour."

*

Nick's been running off nerves and far too many cups of coffee all morning so by the time he escapes Radio 1 and heads to the tiny little coffee shop where they'd arranged to meet, he's a little giddy and maybe even delirious. It'd been surprisingly easy to convince Louis to meet him, but that just means Nick's more on edge.

Louis' already there when Nick slides into the seat opposite him, surprised that Louis isn't wearing a ridiculous hat and sunglasses to disguise his identity. Instead, there's just a burly bodyguard standing by the door, "that's Alberto, don't worry," Louis mutters, and Louis himself in joggers and a 90's styled tracksuit top that Nick's half-envious of.

He orders a coffee and waits nervously, his foot tapping against the floor tiles until Louis snaps at him to stop.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about then?" Louis says finally. "What's this favour you need that apparently Harry can't help you with? Which is driving him insane by the way."

Nick grins. "It's almost worth it just for that."

Louis just arches an eyebrow at him.

"Alright, alright," Nick grumbles. He wraps his hands around the steaming coffee mug and stares into the black swirling liquid, looking for answers that a poor little coffee cup can't possibly give him. "Okay, so I've fucked up."

"Obviously," Louis scoffs. When Nick glares at him, Louis just waves at him to continue.

"So when you came over before the Brits, my parents were going on and on at me about how rubbish my life is without a nice lad to complete it or some rubbish. And they kept talking about how settled my sister and brother are. It's hard to explain, but basically I crumble at parental pressure. I just felt like a bloody teenager again and all I wanted was to make them stop talking, you know?"

Louis doesn't say anything but at least he looks somewhat intrigued now, so Nick ploughs on and very deliberately keeps his gaze locked on his coffee cup.

"When you turned up at the door, they got it into their heads for some reason that we were dating and I was so bloody annoyed and they looked so happy - my mum cried and everything - that I just kind of, well, agreed?"

His big confession is met with nothing but silence so when Nick finally looks up, he's expecting Louis to be laughing or shaking his head or texting everyone he knows, maybe, letting them know how bloody idiotic Nick is.

But Louis' just blinking slowly at him.

"You told your parents that we were dating," Louis says slowly.

Nick nods miserably.

"Oh my fucking god," Louis breathes, and then he's laughing. He's laughing so hard that he's actually slapping his knee like Nick's life is some kind of old British slapstick comedy and Nick pouts into his coffee, thoroughly put out. "Oh my god, your parents loved me. They probably like me better than you, right?"

Nick refuses to confirm or deny, but he's pretty sure that Louis' right.

"Always knew you fancied me, Nicholas," Louis says smugly, and Nick isn't rising to _that_ particular bait. "I had no idea you'd go to such lengths though."

"Look, I know this is ridiculous alright, but my mum cried, Louis." Nick's got a vague idea of how close Louis and his mum are, thanks to Harry's inability to shut up about his bandmates, so he shamelessly appeals to Louis' weakness. "I just need you to pretend for a weekend and then I'll tell her we broke up. And she'll probably blame me for it ending."

"Alright, say that I go ahead with this terrible, awful charade. What do I get out of it then?" Louis asks, leaning forward and grinning at Nick.

Nick resists the urge to smack him. "Whatever you want," he says wearily. "Anything. I'd be forever in your debt. You'd own me."

"Interesting," Louis murmurs. Then he nods once. "Alright. You have to play our songs on every single show you do, until you leave Radio 1."

"Pretty sure I do that anyway, but yes of course," Nick agrees easily. Too quickly.

"And you have to be nice to me on your show. Like, ridiculously nice. Over the top nice. Nicer than you are about the rest of the lads."

"Fine," Nick says. "These aren't exactly hard things to do, Louis. You know that I'm asking you to pretend to be my boyfriend for two days, right? I'm not sure you've grasped how hard this is going to be."

"Oh, all parents love me," Louis says breezily, apparently unconcerned. "Besides, these are just a few things off the top of my head. I can't come up with a pretend boyfriend-level favour off the top of my head, you know."

"Okay, but you're going to do this?" Nick says, just to clarify. When Louis shrugs and then nods, Nick's half-tempted to reach over the table and kiss him in relief, but he restrains himself to just a small smile and a sip of coffee. "Have I ever told you, Louis Tomlinson, that you're my favourite member of best-selling international boyband One Direction? And you are so much prettier than those other idiots. Much smarter too. Always thought you were the funniest though. Definitely the best singer and dancer. In fact, Simon should just ditch the rest of the band. Don't really need 'em, do you?"

"Alright, alright, no need to go overboard," Louis says, but he's flushing prettily and his lips are curved into a small smile that makes Nick's heart beat a little faster. Stupid pretty boybanders, he thinks wryly. He's as susceptible to the stupid image as anyone else.

"So what's the plan?"

*

Nick's plan, such as it is, is to share as much information between them in the three days they have before the weekend. Nick texts Louis all the things he can think of about his family and then starts on his friends. He magnanimously ignores Louis' rude emojis when he talks about his famous mates. Then he starts on his embarrassing relationship history, which takes up far fewer texts than Nick would like. He quickly moves onto random shit that boyfriends should know about each other, like how he likes his tea and what his sleeping habits are. He flushes when he texts Louis that he sleeps in just a ratty old pair of pyjama bottoms, but they're his favourites and he's well aware that his parents are more capable of embarrassing him than anyone else on the planet by mentioning them.

Louis sends his own texts with similar information. Nick learns all about Louis' family and he even gets photos of Doris and Ernest that he coos over for a few hours. He learns that Louis loves travelling but hates feeling crowded and he gets annoyed by most of his own songs because he has to sing them so often, which makes sense, Nick thinks.

He has to take a cold shower when he learns that Louis sleeps naked.

By the time Saturday rolls around and Nick's parents are on the train down, Nick's a nervous wreck again and he's anxiously waiting for Louis to arrive so they can figure out how to look like boyfriends without accidently invading each other's space or personal boundaries.

When Louis finally arrives, he's brought an enormous bag with him and he immediately starts dropping things around Nick's place; a biography of Alex Ferguson that Nick's totally borrowing later and a few tops that Louis scatters around the house while Nick frowns at him, and then Louis disappears into Nick's bedroom.

Nick finds him lying on his bed, arms folded behind his head as he grins up at Nick.

"What are you doing?" Nick asks him. He leans against the doorframe and crosses his ankles as casually as he can when Louis' spread himself across Nick's bed. Where Nick sleeps.

"Just giving your bedroom the personal touch," Louis says with a grin. His gaze flickers over to the bedside table and Nick follows without thinking to find a huge framed photo taking over the entire surface of the table. Louis' face is beaming out at him in high resolution and Nick blinks twice, taking it in.

"Try not to jerk off to it too often though, Nicholas," Louis says with a lewd grin.

Nick flips him off.

"Hey now, is that any way to treat your loving boyfriend of four months?" Louis asks, referencing the back-story they'd agreed on.

"It is when he's being a dick," Nick mutters just before the doorbell rings. His eyes widen in momentary fear and he's stupidly grateful when Louis bounces off the bed and reaches for his hand, sliding their palms together and interlacing their fingers.

"Calm down, yeah?" Louis murmurs. "It's easy. Just remember to touch my hand or my arm every now and again and we'll be fine."

Nick must murmur something in agreement because he feels himself being pulled towards the door.

"God, Nick, your hands are fucking sweating," Louis mutters with a grimace. "Relax and stop being gross when I have to hold your hand."

"Sorry," Nick mutters, letting go of Louis to swipe his hands over his jeans before he throws the door open with a welcoming smile. "Mum! Dad! Come in and meet my boyfriend. Officially, I mean. Because you've met already, obviously."

"Shut up, Nick," Louis says with an elbow to his belly that makes Nick wince. But Louis' grinning at him and Nick manages to smile back before his parents are stepping forward to hug them both.

Once glance at his mum's tearful face and Nick knows it's totally worth it.

*

It's so awkward.

Nick has never, ever taken a boyfriend to meet his parents before so he has no frame of reference. Once he's made tea, he sits next to Louis on the sofa and doesn't know whether he should hold Louis' hand or not. He worries about it so much that when Louis reaches for his hand instead, Nick makes a panicked, high-pitched noise that is totally embarrassing. He freezes for a moment before he looks at Louis, who looks absolutely _delighted_ and Nick wants to just rewind that entire thing so he does something a little less humiliating. But Louis just pats his hand in what Nick thinks might be some attempt at being comforting and settles back against the sofa. His parents don't seem to think that Nick making odd noises when holding hands with his boyfriend is weird, so he relaxes a little. Except his hand is now resting on Louis' thigh and he starts to panic that his hand is too high up on Louis' leg but Louis doesn't seem to mind.

So of course all Nick can think about is that his hand is about three inches away from Louis' dick, which is a strange thought to have but now that he's thinking about it, he can't think about anything else.

Luckily for him, Louis wasn't lying when he said he was great with parents. He's obviously got more experience with this whole dating situation than Nick has because he's patting Nick's face and rubbing his thumb over Nick's wrist like this is actually something they do all the time.

His hand is still really close to Louis' dick.

Nick's parents are falling totally and irrevocably in love with Louis, and Nick has no idea what he's going to do about 'breaking up' with him because he's genuinely starting to worry that his parents will never forgive him.

"... right babe?"

Nick blinks down at Louis who's grinning up at him. "Oh, um, sorry, Lou, I was on another planet."

"Like usual," Louis says with a roll of his eyes that makes his mum giggle. It feels natural enough for Nick to lean over and press a slightly awkward kiss to Louis' temple. Louis, to his credit, just snuggles into his side a bit more and Nick wraps his arm around Louis' shoulder. Purely so they're more comfortable, he tells himself as he breathes in a bit deeper.

"I was saying that we're going up to see my mum and the kids in a few weeks," Louis says. He's got his fingers wrapped around Nick's wrist and his thumb is tracing over Nick's tattoo. "You know she's been dying to meet you."

"We like to know our kids are happy," Eileen says with a sigh. "It's so nice to see Nick so happy, Louis. I can't tell you how delighted we are to see Nick so _settled_. I bet your mum just wants the same thing for you."

"Yeah, she does," Louis says, sounding so wistful that Nick glances up in time to catch the odd frown on Louis' face. Unthinkingly he leans in and nuzzles his face against Louis' cheek. To his utter delight, Louis flushes and ducks his head slightly.

"Oh!" Eileen's tiny squeal has them both looking up and she's clutching at his dad's hand tight enough that Nick winces in sympathy. Pete, on the other hand, seems to be immune. Years of service, Nick thinks giddily as he cuddles Louis closer.

"Alright, that's enough grilling of my boyfriend for one day," Nick announces loudly. "Let's take Pig for a walk, Mum, and leave Dad to bug Louis about that time he sang with Ronnie Wood, yeah?"

"Ronnie Wood, eh?" Pete says, his eyes brightening.

"Let me boil the kettle and I'll tell you about how Harry almost humped his leg," Louis says cheerfully. He bounces up off the sofa and tugs Nick up to his feet. Nick squeezes his hand and leans down to brush a ghost of a kiss against his cheek before they separate and he's bundling himself up before he can wonder at how bloody natural this whole situation seems to be.

*

By the time Nick's parents leave for their hotel, it's past 10pm and Nick's half asleep on the sofa and Louis' curled up next to him, his head on Nick's shoulder and his hand curled around Nick's hip.

"Don't wake him love," Eileen insists. She still looks ridiculously happy, and somehow Nick and Louis have managed to not screw up once all day. Not that his parents would probably even notice, with how horribly in love with Louis they are. "We'll just sneak out. We'll be back in the morning though, nine o'clock okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Nick says through a yawn. "This terror might not be up because he likes a lay in but I will be. See you in the morning, Mum, Dad."

"G'night son," his dad says gruffly. He reaches over to tousle Nick's hair, something he hasn't done in years and something Nick wouldn't have let him do for years either. But Nick leans into his dad's touch and closes his eyes, smiling.

"Goodnight Dad. Sweet dreams."

He waits to hear the door close behind them before he carefully wakes Louis up. And tries not to notice how unbearably cute a sleepy, drowsy Louis Tomlinson looks.

"Your parents have gone?" Louis murmurs in surprise when he looks around. "Crap, sorry for falling asleep on you."

"S'alright, my mum's been planning our wedding for the past hour anyway," Nick says and he's only half-joking. "I hope you like stuffy old mansions and top hats."

Louis' screwed up face is enough of an answer and Nick laughs softly. "Just kidding," he says quietly.

"Well, I guess I should go," Louis says eventually, fishing out his phone and sending a quick text. He untangles himself and Nick feels a shiver race through him as Louis moves away. "What time should I be back in the morning?"

"Half eight," Nick murmurs as they move towards the door. "Hey, Lou. I just, you know, wanted to thank you. You've been bloody amazing today. Best fake boyfriend ever, I reckon."

"Yeah?" Louis sounds inordinately pleased.

"You will come back tomorrow, won't you?" Nick blurts out, watching as Louis' eyes widen. "It's just. I know it's a right pain and you've got no obligation to be here, but my parents are just so happy at the thought of me being all, uh, you know. Loved up."

Louis leans in and it's natural to pull him in for the hug he's expecting. "I've got a mum like that too," he says just loud enough for Nick to catch. "Course I'll come back. But I'm gonna make you pay in triple, you know. For the hand holding and kisses."

Nick ducks his head because he'd quite liked the hand holding and kisses. Even though he knows it's not real, there's still a very real, very large part of him that wants a relationship and all the coupley things that he'd get to do in a relationship.

"I don't mind," Nick murmurs back. "You totally earned it. You've absolutely saved me, and you've made my mum weep happy tears. Whatever it is, it's totally worth it."

"What if I asked you to go to work naked?" Louis asks as he steps back, a tired grin teasing at the corners of his mouth.

"Worth it," Nick says firmly. With no small amount of trepidation.

"You would as well, wouldn't you?" Louis says after a beat, sounding taken aback.

"Totally worth it," Nick repeats firmly. "Now, go home and think up more evil ways to pay me back."

"Don't think I won't," Louis threatens as he slips his Van's on.

Without thinking, Nick leans in and brushes a kiss against Louis' cheek. "Goodnight, Lou."

"Goodnight, Nick," Louis mumbles before he slips through the door and hurries into the waiting car.

It's not until Nick's brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed that he realises that he kissed Louis goodbye. And remembers how Louis flushed before he raced out of the house.

He climbs into bed and stares unblinkingly at the ceiling for ages before he turns and sees the photo of Louis smiling back at him. When he slides his hand under the thin cotton material of his pyjama pants and curls a hand around his hardening cock, he reaches over to turn the photo around. He absolutely refuses to jerk off with Louis judging him.

Even if he is thinking of Louis when he strokes himself until he's hard and aching.

Even if Louis' name is on his lips when he messily comes over himself, panting heavily and utterly boneless.

*

Nick wakes up slowly as he usually does on blessed weekends. Yawning, he snuggles under his duvet for a minute before he realises that he's fucking sweating. It takes another minute for his sleep-slow brain to figure out that he's being slowly suffocated by a heavy weight.

Blinking his eyes open, he finds sharp, bright blue eyes staring back at him.

"S'too early," Nick grumbles but he doesn't make any move to shove Louis off. "What are you even doing here? Who let you in?"

"Nicked your spare key yesterday from the walk," Louis says simply. Nick vaguely remembers shoving one of his many, many spare keys into Louis' hand when his parents weren't looking in case Nick's dad fancied leaving the flat and avoiding any embarrassing questions about why Nick's boyfriend didn't have a key, or even know where to look for a spare.

"Thief," Nick mutters, turning to shove his face into his pillow. "And stop invading my personal space."

"But Nick, I'm your devoted, perfect boyfriend," Louis singsongs annoyingly. "And I've never been good at the whole personal space thing anyway. Don't really see the point, much."

"Reckon you do when you're getting mobbed by those fans of yours," Nick says, opening one eye to see Louis cock his head thoughtfully.

"Maybe," he allows eventually. "But it's different with family and mates and stuff. Reckon you don't really know someone until you've draped yourself over them and snuck your cold hands under their shirt to see what they do."

Nick just blinks at him. "Oh my god. You're actually insane."

Louis beams back at him and Nick's suddenly and embarrassingly hard as he stares at Louis' mouth.

"Okay, seriously, you have to get off me," Nick mutters.

Louis groans but he rolls off the bed and Nick finally gets a good look at him. He's dressed smartly today, eschewing the joggers and loose shirt he'd worn yesterday for a button down, fitted dark shirt and skinny jeans that nearly makes Nick swallow his tongue when Louis turns around and Nick gets to ogle his arse.

He subtly shifts his hand to press the heel of his palm against his dick, willing himself to calm the fuck down.

When he looks up, Louis' smirking at him and waggling his eyebrows. "Alright there, Nicholas? Looks like you're in a need a cold shower."

Nick's face flames. It's really not his fault, because Louis' a goddamn popstar with a stylist and personal hairdresser and he's just really bloody cute and small and oddly cuddly and he's wearing a goddamn button down shirt to have lunch with his parents, and Nick's still half-asleep and his hair is probably flat and awful, and his mouth tastes like shit and Louis Tomlinson is still in his bedroom, grinning down at him and Nick's dick isn't getting any softer.

"Don't be embarrassed love," Louis says condescendingly. He even reaches out to pat Nick's face with his tiny paw of a hand. "You're not the first guy to jerk off to my face. I'm pretty fucking gorgeous, you know."

"You're an annoying pest and I don't know why my parents love you so much," Nick shoots back, only half-joking.

Louis finally steps back and heads for the bedroom door. "Because you're a terrible son and I am a delight."

Nick lobs his pillow at the door as Louis disappears through it.

"A delight, Nicholas!" Louis repeats and Nick can hear him crowing with laughter as he makes his way through Nick's flat.

He jumps out of bed and quickly strips on his way to the bathroom. He only feels slightly guilty about jerking off while Louis' in the house, but really it's Louis' fault he's hard in the first place.

He feels much better when he's dressed with clean, minty-fresh breath and perfectly styled hair. He's even humming when he walks back into his bedroom to find Louis sitting on his now-made bed, his hand trailing over the photo frame that holds Louis' picture in it. There's a slight frown on Louis' face as he turns it back around, facing towards Nick's pillows.

"Hey," Nick says, feeling like he's interrupting. Which is insane, because it's his room.

"You turned me around," Louis says, still frowning as he glances up at Nick. "You are a terrible boyfriend. No wonder you're all alone."

"Ouch," Nick says, rubbing the heel of his hand over his heart with feigned pain. "It's not nice to kick a man when he's down, love."

Louis just rolls his eyes and picks up a mug of steaming coffee from the table. He holds it out and Nick takes it gratefully, sipping at it carefully as Louis picks up his own cup of tea.

"I take it all back, you're the best boyfriend ever," Nick mumbles over his mug.

"Yeah, I know," Louis says smugly. "That's why your parents love me."

Nick's about to say something witty and cutting and brilliant when the doorbell rings. He promptly closes his mouth and reaches out a hand to pull Louis up. And it's not weird that they just don't bother unlacing their fingers as they walk to the door because it's just part of the act. And when Nick opens the door to find his parents smiling widely at the two of them, it's practically self-defence to reach over and drape his arm over Louis' shoulders, tugging him in close and letting Louis snuggle into his side.

His mum sniffles.

"Oh come on Mum, you can't cry every time you see us," Nick tells her before he turns to his dad for support.

"You're the baby of the family," is all his dad says, as if _that_ makes any sense whatsoever.

"Right," Nick says slowly, wondering if his parents have really jumped off the deep end. "Tea?"

"Yes please dear," his mum says, still sounding weepy as she follows them into the house. Nick heads to the kitchen to feed Pig, not that she's paying any attention to him because she loves his mum and never leaves her side when she comes to visit. He turns to put the kettle on, only to find Louis already making up a pot.

"Fancy," Nick comments, leaning his hip against the counter. "Aren't you the domestic one?"

"Don't want your parents thinking I'm a self-absorbed popstar who can't make a decent cup of tea," Louis says seriously. He pours the boiling water into the teapot and pops the lid on before he turns to face Nick. "Since they've already got one self-absorbed kid in the family."

"Well that's true," Nick says, refusing to rise to Louis' bait. "I couldn't date someone who took longer to get ready than I do. Or who couldn't make a decent cup of tea."

Louis grins at him and turns to stir the tea and grab some matching mugs, grimacing slightly at their bright neon yellow design.

"Expensive, those were," Nick supplies helpfully.

"Money doesn't buy taste, Nicholas." Louis sniffs haughtily before he plonks the sugar and two teaspoons on the tray and lifts it up, breezing past Nick to go serve his parents their tea.

Nick swallows around the sudden lump in his throat and forces himself to breathe in slowly a few times before he follows Louis into the front room, dropping down next to him and reaching for Louis' hand.

"So, where do you fancy for lunch then?"

*

They end up in a fancy restaurant that his mum's seen good reviews for on the internet. Nick doesn't think he'll ever stop finding his mum's delight in simple pleasures utterly adorable.

They're tucked into a booth, him and Louis on one side and his parents on the other. Louis and his dad are talking about football and Nick's not jealous exactly, since he's never been interested in football and despite a few failed attempts to try to understand the bloody game, he knows it's never going to be his thing. But he still gets a funny ache in his chest when he sees how animated his dad gets, talking about football and knowing that somewhere deep inside, his dad probably doesn't understand why Nick doesn't share his love of the game.

As they discuss Donny Rovers chances in the league, and Nick wonders who the hell Donny Rovers are and why they have such a terrible name, he feels Louis' hand steal over his where it's resting on his own thigh. Surprised, Nick glances up but Louis isn't looking at him. He's still talking to his dad about possession percentages and pass rates. But Louis squeezes his hand gently like maybe he understands how awkward Nick feels, and Nick squeezes back without really thinking about it.

Louis continues to talk about Donny's chances in the FA Cup this year while his thumb traces circles over the back of Nick's hand. It's oddly relaxing and before long, Nick's just sitting back to enjoy watching his dad and Louis animatedly chatting. He rolls his eyes every now and again, mostly for his mum's benefit. But it's nice to sit back for once and let someone else carry the conversation. As much as he loves the sound of his own voice, there's something he likes a lot about listening to Louis talking.

Plus, Louis' hand slipped out of his five minutes ago and he's been sliding his fingers up and down the inseam of Nick's jeans in agonisingly slow strokes. It's both relaxing and distracting.

Especially when Louis doesn't stop or move his hand away when their first course is served.

"How's your cheese then?" Louis asks, nudging his shoulder against Nick's.

"It's camembert, and you're such a heathen," Nick says. He slides his foot over to tap Louis' foot and doesn't bother to move his foot back. "But it's excellent. How's your calamari?"

"It's alright," Louis says with a shrug. "Dunno that it's worth twenty quid though."

Nick snickers into his wineglass. "Probably not."

Louis curls his foot around Nick's ankle and Nick finds himself leaning into Louis without even realising that he's moved. "So it's a good thing it's your treat then, Nicholas."

"You earn like, millions of pounds a minute," Nick points out with his best scandalised face. "Lunch is on you, popstar."

"Always knew you were dating me for my money, dickhead." Louis' voice drops on the last word so Nick's parents don't hear. It's oddly hot.

"It's obviously not for your sparkling personality," Nick shoots back with a grin.

Louis cocks an eyebrow and Nick really should know better by now, and he should definitely be nervous about that particular look. He still jerks though when Louis' hand trails a little higher and brushes over Nick's half-hard dick.

Nick just about stifles a gasp and he jumps to his feet, flushed and bright-eyed and painfully aroused. He excuses himself to the bathroom and it's an awkward walk to the back of the restaurant. Nick hurries inside, groaning as his dick strains against his jeans.

He's barely aware of the door opening and closing behind him before he's being pushed into a stall, the door slamming shut behind him as familiar arms wind around his neck, tugging him down.

As first kisses go, Nick's had more romantic first kisses. He's had sweeter first kisses. But there's something about kissing Louis for the first time in a fancy restaurant loo while he's hard as a fucking rock that seems utterly perfect to Nick.

"You're such a bloody tease," Nick mutters between frantic kisses.

"Shut up," Louis mumbles, reaching up to thread his hands into Nick's hair and tugging hard.

Nick can't stop the moan that escapes his lips and he slides his hands down to cup Louis' arse, pulling him up hard against Nick, pleased when he hears Louis whimper. "This is ridiculous," Nick manages to say before Louis' biting down hard on his bottom lip, making him hiss in pleasure as he starts to grind his hips into Louis'.

"My parents are sitting at a table right outside," Nick mumbles, which makes Louis rock up onto his toes and he shoves his tongue into Nick's mouth. It has the effect of making Nick's brain short-circuit and all he can do is groan and pin Louis back against the cubicle door while Louis assaults his mouth.

It's the hottest fucking moment of Nick's entire life, and he's not sure if that's a shocking indictment on the state of his previous love affairs or a glowing assessment of the Louis Tomlinson effect.

"What the hell are we doing," Nick gasps out as he fumbles with Louis' fly. Louis' kissing down his neck and distracting the hell out of him but he finally gets Louis' jeans unzipped and he tugs them down, reaching into Louis' boxers with practised ease. Louis' dick is warm and hard in his hand and Nick can't help but look down, his mouth watering as he watches Louis' dick fatten in his hand as he teases Louis with firm, easy strokes.

"S'gonna be messy," Nick mutters. Not that he cares. He doesn't really care about anything right now except making Louis come because he's making these adorable, breathy little noises that Nick just wants to swallow up, and he's flushed and wide-eyed. Nick's helpless to resist as he leans in for a wet, filthy kiss.

"Not if you swallow," Louis manages to say.

"Yeah," Nick agrees, trying not to sound too eager. He drops down to his knees, his hands gripping Louis' hips to keep him pinned against the door. He breathes in Louis' scent before he opens his mouth to swallow Louis down. He doesn't bother with finesse or flair, just goes for sloppy and maybe a little desperate. He pushes his thumbs into Louis' hips, feeling Louis tense under his touch and it's barely a minute of Louis' dick in his mouth before he comes with a muttered curse. Nick swallows, because he's a fucking gentleman, and sits back on his heels, reluctantly letting Louis slip out of his mouth as he reaches up to massage his aching jaw.

He can hear the sound of Louis' zip fastening and then Louis' pushing Nick up to sit on the closed toilet seat. "Your turn, your turn, your turn," Louis chants and between them they scramble to get Nick's jeans down far enough that Louis can kneel between his legs and get Nick's dick in his mouth.

Louis' mouth is a fucking delight, Nick thinks hazily as Louis bobs up and down on his cock. He threads his hands through Louis' hair and grits his teeth when Louis hums around his dick, pleased.

"God I want to fuck your mouth," Nick mutters, rocking his hips up helplessly and grinning when Louis chokes slightly and glares up at him, tears pooling in his eyes. "So fucking pretty, Lou."

Louis' eyes close at that and he hollows his cheeks as he sucks Nick down long and hard.

Nick comes as quietly as he can when he's being sucked off by a famous popstar in a well-known bathroom. And when Louis stumbles to his feet, Nick drags him in for a kiss, licking the taste of himself out of Louis' mouth.

"Gotta get back," Louis mumbles eventually, pulling back. Nick wonders if he imagines the reluctance in his tone.

But they really do need to get back to his parents and it takes them a few minutes to wash their hands, straighten their clothes and fix their hair. Louis' still flushed and Nick thinks he might have stubble rash on his neck, but it's the best they can do.

Nick walks through the door first, holding it open for Louis with only a tiny blush as Louis catches his gaze. Somewhere on the way back to their booth, Louis' hand slips into his and when they slide back into the booth, he's certain they both look guilty and he can't even look at his parents.

"Did you sort it out then, love?" Eileen asks and Nick's head snaps up, his eyes wide as he stares at his mum. Eileen, however, just smiles inquisitively at him. "About who's paying?"

"Uh, yeah," Nick says, his voice a little hoarse. Probably from having Louis' dick in his mouth ten minutes ago. "I'm paying."

Eileen reaches over to pat his hand as the waiter appears with their main courses.

"Well I'm glad you boys figured it out," Eileen says.

"Looks like they more than sorted it out," Pete mumbles next to her and Nick wants to just sink into the floor and die of embarrassment.

Louis, however, laughs loudly and it's infectious enough to make Nick smile at him.

"Busted," Louis stage-whispers and Nick elbows him while his mum laughs at the two of them. It's nice, Nick thinks as he finally picks up his fork and digs into his pasta. It's nice to go out with his parents and his boyfriend - his fake boyfriend, he corrects himself with a shake of his head - and to laugh and tease each other.

Except it's not real, and he's nowhere near having this for real. Nick frowns down at his plate, lost in thought until Louis nudges him gently.

"Alright, babe?" he asks quietly.

Nick glances across the table but his parents are engrossed in their own conversation.

"Yeah Lou, I'm good," he says. And if it comes out a little sad, well Louis probably doesn't know him well enough to hear the difference.

*

His parents leave in a whirlwind of hugs and kisses and promises for Louis to come and visit them soon. It's exhausting and Nick finally closes the door as the taxi pulls away and he all but collapses back against the door.

"Well, that went well I reckon," Louis says quietly.

"Too well," Nick says with a bark of laughter. "They're fully prepared to adopt you into the Grimshaw family."

"Well, I am wonderful."

"You are," Nick says, and he's not even teasing. "Seriously Lou, you saved my fucking life this weekend. And you charmed my parents. Which, despite appearances to the contrary, isn't that easy to do. You, Louis Tomlinson, are a bloody saint."

"Well, that's the first time I've been called that," Louis says after a beat. His smile fades as silence falls between them, and for the first time since Louis reached for his hand yesterday morning, Nick feels awkward. "Okay, well I guess I'd better go."

"Yeah," Nick says, and it's an actual battle to force the reluctance out of his voice. He moves away from the door and reaches for the handle to pull it open.

"So I'll see you around then," Louis says, digging out his phone and typing out a message. "And uh, that stuff in the loo. It was just uh. Because of the hand-holding and stuff. Right?"

"Yeah, definitely," Nick agrees with false brightness. "Totally just a reaction to the um, proximity. And boyfriend stuff."

"Yeah," Louis nods, almost t himself. "I um, could you just not mention this to Harry? Or anyone?"

"No, no of course not," Nick says immediately. "I promise, Lou. Course I won't say anything."

"Thanks, mate," Louis says, and Nick manages not to wince at the term. It feels odd after two days of other, more intimate terms that they've thrown about between them. It feels weird when Nick knows how Louis' dick feels in his mouth. "I appreciate it."

"And hey, let me know when you want to call in that favour, okay?" Nick opens the door wider and Louis slips past him, his head ducked. "I definitely owe you one. Or two. Or fifty, probably."

Louis takes a few steps away from the door, towards the street. "Yeah," he says, turning around with an easy smile that Nick definitely doesn't try to memorise as he feels the first tug of loss. "I'll see you around, Nick."

"Yeah, see you soon, Lou," Nick murmurs as Louis' car pulls up. Louis leans in and opens the car door, sending one last complicated look back over his shoulder towards Nick before he slides into the passenger seat. The door closes behind him and Nick's left standing at his doorway, watching Louis' car disappear around the corner.

Nick steps back and shuts the door, leaning back against it for the second time in as many minutes. Pig trots towards him, her paws padding softly against the wooden floor. Nick leans down to cuddle her and is treated to a very wet, very disgusting doggy kiss. "Fuck, Pig. What the fuck just happened?"

Pig wags her tail and whines into his chest.

"Yeah, a walk sounds good," Nick agrees as he reaches over to grab her leash and snaps it onto her collar. "Clear my head. Maybe then I can stop thinking about Louis' dick in my mouth. Or mine in his."

Nick's not holding out much hope though, not when his eyes fall onto Louis' hoodie, dropped carelessly onto the floor. And he remembers the feel of Louis' hand in his. Or the way Louis laughed at him and made his parents laugh so easily.

"Fucking popstars," he says without inflection, grabbing his keys and opening the door. "Always ruining my bloody life."

*

The problem, Nick thinks, is that it's been two weeks and Louis' clothes are still scattered around his house. He hasn't even tidied them up, and he really doesn't want to think about what that might mean. He's just lazy, Nick tells himself as his gaze drifts over to where Louis' beanie lies on the kitchen counter. Just lazy, he repeats silently as he pads through to the front room and steps carefully over Louis' discarded Vans by the sofa.

The problem, Nick tells himself as his doorbell rings and he changes direction, heading for the front door instead, the problem is - standing right in front of him.

"Lou," Nick breathes in surprise, before he shakes his head and steps back, ushering Louis inside before a miscreant paparazzi catches them.

"Hey," Louis says when they're safely inside. Nick's gaze drags over him. He looks soft, Nick thinks fondly, dressed in joggers and a jumper that looks two sizes too big for him. "Alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Nick says politely when all he wants to do is reach out and stroke Louis' hair, to see if it's as soft as it looks. He keeps his hands by his sides though. "How's things with you? Busy, I imagine."

"Yeah, I guess," Louis says, shrugging. He's staring, but Nick's too glad to see him to bother mentioning it. Two bloody weeks and he's missed him.

"Did you come to get your stuff?" Nick asks, trying not to sound miserable about it.

"Um, I guess," Louis says, but he sounds distracted. Nick keeps quiet for once though and waits patiently as Louis rocks back and forth on his heels. "So um, that favour that you owe me? I kind of need to cash it in."

"Oh yeah?" Nick says, trying not to sound too eager. "What's that then?"

Louis flashes him a grin then, and Nick finds himself taking a step forward, drawn in. "Well, funny story," Louis murmurs. "My mum thinks that I have this boyfriend, right? She's expecting me to come up next weekend with him."

Nick breathes in slowly, feeling lightheaded and giddy. "Yeah?" he says softly. He takes another step forward. "That is a funny story."

"I'd really hate to disappoint her," Louis says with a loud sigh. "She just worries about me, you know? She'd be much happier if she knew I was _s ettled_. And _happy_."

"Yeah, I've got a mum like that," Nick murmurs. His heart is pounding and he feels a bit dizzy. He reaches out to cup Louis' cheek anyway, his lips curving upwards when Louis leans into his touch.

"So what do you say?" Louis asks, his eyes bright as he rocks back and forth on his heels. "Fancy being my pretend boyfriend for a weekend?"

Nick leans in to settle his hands on Louis' hips and moves him back against the wall, caging him in. "Well, let's think about this. You had to pretend to be my boyfriend for my parents. There's only two of them. But you want me to be your pretend boyfriend for your Brady Bunch family. By my calculations, that means you're probably going to owe me another favour. Or two."

"Well, that's probably fair," Louis admits, tilting his face up invitingly.

Nick groans and pulls Louis towards him, leaning down to press his lips against Louis'. It's wet and a bit desperate and Nick's head is spinning by the time they pull back, breathing heavily and leaning their foreheads together.

"So I was planning to get takeout and fall asleep in front of the telly," Nick murmurs.

"Sounds fucking mundane," Louis says. "Thought you were a social butterfly, Nick. You sure you don't wanna go out? Have a few drinks?"

"Nah, don't fancy it tonight." Nick thumbs Louis' cheek gently. "What about you though? Young popstar with the world literally at his feet."

"Nah, I leave that to the others," Louis says before Nick finds himself being pulled down for another kiss. "Besides, we should probably practice this fake boyfriend shit. Your parents were a breeze. My mum's got no shame. She'll want to know about your past relationships and any criminal records. Oh, and my sisters will want to know everything about you, and us. They're relentless."

"So what you're saying is that you should probably stay over tonight," Nick muses thoughtfully as Louis nods solemnly. "And we've only got a week to practice."

"We should practice a lot," Louis agrees. "And by practice, I mean you should blow me."

Nick huffs out a laugh against Louis' shoulder. "Yeah love, I got that."

"Good," Louis says, sounding pleased.

"Well come on then," Nick says, leaning back and sliding his hand into Louis' while something settles comfortably in his chest. "I've been dying to _practice_ on you for two weeks."

Louis grins up at him and Nick fights the urge to just throw him over his shoulder. Mostly because he'd probably drop Louis and break his leg or his arm, and wouldn't that make a nice little headline in the papers?

"You know, you talk too much," Louis says as he follows Nick into his bedroom, reaching down to tug his shirt off and wriggle out of his jeans.

Nick's mouth absolutely doesn't water. But he makes a silent promise to explore each and every single tattoo Louis has etched into his gorgeous, tanned skin. For now, he settles for climbing up between Louis' spread legs on his bed and running his hands up and down Louis' toned calves and thighs.

"You're fucking gorgeous," Nick murmurs, half to himself.

Louis laughs, and Nick's self-conscious enough to recognise the slightly off-note.

"You are," he insists.

"God Nick, just shut up and suck me off, yeah?" Louis says, kicking the heels of his feet against the mattress and urging Nick upwards for a kiss.

"Whatever you want," Nick murmurs, dipping down to mouth at Louis' hipbone. "Boyfriend."

"Oh my god you are the fucking worst," Louis groans.

Nick just smiles as he trails kisses across Louis' belly, making him squirm anxiously in anticipation.

"The worst fucking boyfriend ever," Louis grumbles under his breath, but Nick hears him.

And he laughs softly. "Yeah, I bloody well am."


End file.
